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Now talk about eccentricity married to mundanity- Gemma Correll

The most ludicrous ‘about-me’ you’re ever going to read!

Let me first give credit to this admired wacko Gemma Correll for being different enough to balance the cosmos.

Source of About-Me-

If you’ll allow it, this should lighten your countenance.


Hello, I’m Gemma.
I am a cartoonist, writer, illustrator and all-round small person.

I’m the author of – among others – “A Cat’s Life” (Te Neues, 2012),  “A Pug’s Guide to Etiquette” (Dog N Bone, 2013) and “The Worrier’s Guide to Life” (Andrews McMeel, 2015). You can find out more about my books and comics here.

I publish my “Four Eyes” cartoon at and at The Nib on
 I also draw a monthly Skycats cartoon for the Emirates Airlines Open Skies magazine.

My illustration clients include Hallmark, The New York Times, Oxford University Press, Knock Knock, Chronicle Books and The Observer.
Am I currently taking personal commissions? – YES / NO


What other people are saying about my work …
 “wtf. worst cartoons ever!” – Luc Walker of Australia
“I don’t understand this new illustration trend that’s… just bad pen drawings … at least put effort into things not pen doodles” – Gabe, from Twitter (and also, Australia)
“… ugly, pig-faced drawings … ” – Angry Canadian lady
“How is this funny? Like at all?” – Mariah (location unknown, but I’m guessing probably Australia)

 Henries – Best Humorous Greeting Card Range for Four Eyes from Urban Graphic (2014)
 Society of Illustrators Comic & Cartoon Art (2014) Selected
 Young Cartoonist of the Year (2012) Runner-Up
 ADC Young Guns 8 (2010) Selected
 3×3 Professional Show (2010) Selected
Where did you study?
I went to art school in Norwich (England) – I have a BA (hons) degree in Graphic Design specialising in Illustration.

Why do your illustrations look like a five year old drew them?

I hire a five year old to do all my work for me. I pay him in fudge. His name is Alan.

Are you available for an interview on my blog?

Possibly. I am very busy and get a lot of interview requests, but I will answer if I can.
 You can e-mail me at gemmacorrell @ gmail dot com

Do you take personal commissions, for portraits n stuff?


What’s your favourite colour?


What’s your starsign?


What’s your favourite word?


What are your favourite Movies/Tv shows/ Books?

Movies – The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Dogtooth, La Vie en Rose, Wayne’s World, Monty Python’s Life of Brian, The Royal Tenenbaums, Anything by Michel Gondry or featuring Gael Garcia Bernal.
 TV Shows – Project Runway, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Louis Theroux’s documentaries, anything involving models or Australian people. I don’t actually have a TV though.
 Books – I’ll just tell you some authors that I like, or we’ll be here forever – Bill Bryson, Jeffrey Eugenides, Torey Hayden, Margaret Atwood. I like books, I do. I have a Goodreads page, here.

How do you scan your images / contrast them / clean them up?

I scan my images into photoshop and then use the “Levels” tool to adjust the black/white until I’m happy with the result. Same if the image is in colour, although that makes it a bit trickier to get the balance right. I just use the good ol’ fashioned eraser tool for any mistakes (although often, I’ll just leave the mistakes in the drawing)

Which pens do you use?

I use PITT artist pens, Uniball Eye and UniPin fineliners, as well and Kuretake ZIG Art & graphics Twin. For colouring, I use watercolour, ink, Kuretake brush markers and Kuretake Clean Colour brush pens. For murals, I like Posca paint pens, or Kuretake “Paintys”
Are you related/married to Damien Correll?
No. It is funny that we have the same surname though, as it is quite an unusual one…. but we live in different countries and have never actually met (yet).

Is being an illustrator a real job?
No, it’s a fake job. I actually run a very successful drug smuggling ring. I just pretend to draw things and distract people with my cute pug.

Who are your favourite artists?
Camilla Engman, Lab partners, Sandra Juto, Beatrice Alemagna, Elisabeth Dunker, Quentin Blake, Tom Gauld, Simone Lia, Sara Fanelli, Ray Fenwick, Aya Kakeda, Carson Ellis, Brian Rea, Oliver Jeffers, Mary Blair, David Hughes, Harriet Russell, Anouk Ricard, Lizzy Stewart, Mia Christopher, Julia Pott, Marc Johns, Anke Weckmann, Jen Collins, Maira Kalman, Liza Donnelly, Tuesday Bassen … the list goes on, but my fingers are tired.

where do babies come from?
You don’t want to know.

It’s quite long and interesting… I decided to publish just this part. You can visit to read the full about-me.
It made me laugh. I hope it’ll to you too.

And keep up the good work Gemma…
All content © Gemma Correll 2015
Thanks for reading.



If ‘Hbd’ trends in social media as a substitute for a simple ‘Happy birthday’, then dare to be different.
Let me boldly say this: You do not copy everything you see. That’s why you’re uniquely you!

[You may want to have a sneak peek at the content in this link:
In short, read it!]
It says a lot.

Let me analyze what you do when you type ‘hbd’ on a celebrants’ timeline:

1. I don’t have time. I’m too busy to type Happy birthday abeg. Manage wetin you see. No vex.
2. I’m lazy. I don’t have the strength to type Happy birthday please.
3. You’re not important or not important enough. Because I’ll sure type an epistle on my loved ones timeline and you must create time to read it o.
4. I’m not unique. Everybody is doing it. Why single me out?
(Question: Are you everybody?)

If you’re a victim, firstly, I’ll say don’t be offended at this post. I too, make mistakes.
Secondly, admit that you can do better.
Thirdly, change! And take correction.

Be nice.
You have decided to wish this person a happy birthday. Give it a minute or two and make the person feel special even if in few words. The least I think should be to just type the HAPPY BIRTHDAY in full (case closed). Either this or skip it! After all, you won’t be crucified for not posting.

Ok, imagine this:
When a manufacturer produces/manufactures a product en masse, and there happens to be a defect in one product, the end result is the dissatisfaction of one valuable customer!
Because, to the manufacturer, it’s mass production. Saves time. More money.

But to the buyer, he/she picks it (one of the products) from the shelf and expects value in exchange for hard earned money and you don’t want to fathom what an enraged customer will or can do!
You see, the mass production of the products will end up in the hands of individuals so the company goes the extra mile to ensure quality control is in place.

Please ensure quality control too in your well wishes. You may send out many birthday wishes. Maybe in a hurry. But when it gets to the celebrants timeline, it becomes one message sent from you!
Having said all these, please, after reading this post,I hope we are still friends? 😀
Because in the end your friendship means a lot to me that’s why I’m even writing this.
I love you… Very much.
Forgive me in advance and thank you for reading.

Priscilla Esuku
© 2015

Hello Bag lovers :)

1. Are you a woman? Yes or No

2. Are you a man who has a mum/wife/sister/fiancee/niece/sister-in-law/girlfriend/female-friend? Yes or No

If your answer is Yes to No. 1 and 2, then you’ll have to visit and subscribe to Priska’s BBM channel C0041BF11

We have new posts, more subscribers and there’ll be another promo soon 🙂 so, watch out!


This is hilarious :)

Abeg make una follow me enjoy this hilarious letter from a frustrated MTN subscriber to MTN … Lol

Please read:

Dear MTN,
I will not go and re-register my line. You can
fool everyone if you like, you might have fooled
me before, but you would never fool me again.
The only reason while you continue to pull the
wool over our gullible eyes is because the
consumer rights’ protection agencies are either
in the vegetative state, or completely dead.
How can you explain a situation where you would
tell your millions of teeming subscribers to
register their SIM cards and provide the
necessary bio-data, only for you to wake up one
morning to tell us to go and register our lines
beats my imagination and it defies not just
logic, but also philosophy. Were you drunk when
you were registering our numbers? Did a
malicious virus wipe your entire database?
Maybe I’m giving you too much credit sef. You
probably wrote the records in books like an
ancient bookkeeper and a giant yellow rat ate
them all. Whatever your reasons (or lack of
reasons) may be, this is beyond ridiculous.
I have always maintained an MTN line because
apart from being my very first line, most of my
close associates also use MTN. To some extent,
the coverage is also extensive. I didn’t hesitate
when the directive came from NCC to register
lines. I braved the queue, registered my line
and collected my security number. Didn’t I try
Looking back, I can deduce that my attachment
to MTN was more sentimental than practical, as
your tariffs are the highest for calls and for
browsing. You send an average of 100 spam
per day, enough to run down a Blackberry
battery and more than enough to give any Osun
State government worker waiting for
Aregbesola’s alert acute hypertension. Your
nuisance value knows no bounds.
Even Airtel that has been passed round
different investors more times than a devil’s
mail bag has not come up with this kind of
Grade A foolishness. What the heck is wrong
you? Don’t your customers mean anything to
you? Doesn’t it bother you that Nigerians who
wasted their time to register their SIM cards
have to do the same thing again? You haven’t
even deemed it fit to fine-tune the process. It
doesn’t make sense to preserve bad experiences
like these, in very much the same way that one
relic of history is preserving mud huts, and
stating them on an assets’ declaration form.
My records are not on your database, but you
remember my number when you want to tell me
to text ‘YES’ to win a missing plot of land in
Port-Harcourt, right? May heavy-duty thunder
fire all of una. I really don’t blame you. If
Nigerians had run your devious, xenophobic,
exploitative, heartless, opportunistic, fraudulent
ass back to South Africa, you wouldn’t be here
making them queue desperately like migrants.
What’s to say that there wouldn’t be another
sham registration in the next couple of months
since you guys obviously don’t know what you
doing? You blocked my line, you have helped
me. Prior to your ridiculous directive, I had
already banished your yeye SIM card to a barely
functional phone. I have even borrowed the
maximum permissible amount. Go ahead, feel
free. It sure feels great knowing
that when I eventually toss the phone into the
trash-can, I won’t have to take out the SIM.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
You deserve to be sued for every fraudulent
penny you’ve ever made on our shores. Thanks
other service providers for making sure that
your evil dream of becoming a monopoly will
forever remain a demented hallucination. There
are so many fishes in the ocean. I will not
tolerate your recklessness any longer. Peace at

Hahahahaha… Someone sent it to me and I decided to share it with YOU 🙂

Do have a splendid and productive week

Quote of the day!

No marketing, no revenue, know marketing, know revenue. – Dr Andrew Tongbe


Dr Andrew Tongbe is a wealth coach and CEO of Andrew Tongbe Consulting, an outfit that helps people create sustainable wealth with what they have with the vision of eradicating poverty and empowering every human being irrespective of race, color, location or other factors.


Nigerian ‘Uniform’ men: The biggest law breakers!

I write this with a grim countenance.
The everyday typical Nigerian, will attest to all I’m going to say.
But what are we going to do about it?
I’m at a loss on that one. Hence the grim countenance  😦

Our uniformed men, especially the Police, Mobile Police (Mopol), and Army are seemingly above the law.

I’ve seen them carry out gruesome acts to innocent citizens on the road all because they have right of way on any lane of the road!
They are always right.
They cannot be talked to.
Infact, you should not dare look them in the eye!
They want to be revered and they get it the armed-way.

Now, I agree that they are useful and helpful to our dear country, Nigeria.
They protect us and defy death by going on headstrong into war-torn zones.
Their testimonials are very many and not well recompensed.
We are thankful.

But who did they sell all their ’empathy’ to?

My belief is that apart from ‘high profile citizens’ and/plus ‘well loaded cash’ (both of which are, by the way, married), and their ogas at the top, every other person is beneath their feet or stupid or should not even exist!

Recently, in this era of social media and the rise in mobile phone ownership, a few incidents of their defective acts have been recorded and posted on social media.

Hmmm… But if dem catch you dey video dem, your own don finish!

Victims caught filming them have lost their phones and thrown into cell, beaten and sometimes tortured.

It’s not an experience anyone should witness. The loss is more than the gain.
And the average Nigerian haven’t the budget for bail-money, purchase of cell phones or hospital treatment incessantly.

What can be done to curb this madness?
This is not a rhetorical question.

Thank you for reading.

Priscilla Esuku
© 2015

The adventures of Pangel: Letter to my Ex (1)

You truely never loved me, but I loved you excessively.
And I’m glad to know I could love that much.
Your breaking up with me gave me the strength to move on.
Your disgust for me taught me to respect myself.
The distance you created taught me to appreciate the presence of others who care.
Your lack of trust taught me to carefully dish it out to deserving personalities.

Persons wonder why I’m this tough!
And I wish to scream that it’s all thanks to my ex!
After the ex, I had a choice;
To be a heartbreaker or to be a heartmender.
I chose the latter because I’m not just experienced but qualified to help, having been a victim.
And so, thank you ex!
The next will be luckier because you schooled me well.

Culled from ‘the Adventures of Pangel’
© 2015

The Adventures of Pangel is an ongoing fiction, adapted from true life stories to help broken ladies rechannel every disadvantage amassed from broken relationships to becoming an ideal dream woman.